How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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