You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
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i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
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I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
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