i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
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He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
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Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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