i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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