i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize