in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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