So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Randomize