btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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