I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
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the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
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Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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