so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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