I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
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I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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