Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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