Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
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Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
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Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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