Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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