sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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