why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize