Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize