I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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