Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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