3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
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The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
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I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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