so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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