: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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