dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
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don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
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We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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