Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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