Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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