Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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