We're facebook friends in real life
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize