spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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