Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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