Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you would pick up someone in the library
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize