I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Quick, to the slutcave!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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