I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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