he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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