I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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