i think my mom watched the whole time
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
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just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
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If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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