Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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