i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize