If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
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Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
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I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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