I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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