with your own penis?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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