Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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