I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize