Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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