erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize