trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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