What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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