thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So many bounce houses so little time
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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