I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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