Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize