we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize